Thursday, June 21, 2012

Parenting Methods...Everybody's Got One!

Pregnancy and birth....the joyous occasion in which we bring into the world a new life. A new life and all the responsibility of caring for, nurturing, and teaching this little person to become a functioning, independent individual and  member of society. But how? How, you might ask, do you get this outcome....

If you're anything like me you have read dozens of parenting books, all describing various methods that are supposed to help your child develop into the well rounded individual that you dream they will be. Yet in their differences, there are a few things consistent with all of these "methods".



The first being... None of these tried and true parenting methods are the same and many of them are conflicting but they all have "evidence" to back them up. They claim to be the standard of parenting with dozens of success stories and mothers who "swear by" them. Almost all have fancy psychologists that explain why that method works above all others and many claim that their method is how every other family in the world parents, there seems to be a general consensus that American parents and our current society totally lack and fail. Damn.

The second consistency? If the method is not working, it's not the method, it's your failure to execute the method properly or you haven't waited long enough for it to work. Is that frustrating or what? 

The third and most irritating consistency? Is what I call the "high horse" parent club. Each method seems to house a group of parents that develop the logic that, all other parents who do not parent in the same fashion are ignorant and uninformed, and every one should be concerned for the welfare of the children under those "other" parenting conditions. Really?

What's my take on all this? I can't tell you which parenting method is more "right"....Parenting methods are just that...methods. Particular procedures in accomplishing a goal. Ideas to meet that goal. There is one other consistency I forgot to mention, and that is that not one of these methods are 100% fail proof and none of them come with a "Just turn back time and try again!" guarantee. 

As parents we do the best we can, with the best of intentions for our children. Most parents do not go into parenting with the goal of being a "bad parent". No parent is perfect or all knowing, and what works for some may not work for others. You know what? That's okay. Ultimately, no matter what method we use raise our children, during good times and bad, through hard work and suffering, in the end it will be up to them, the children, to decide to become the person they were destined to be. 

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