Pregnancy Journal Week 33- Painful Positivity?

Many of my friends and family do not realize the amount of pain that pregnancy causes for me. I try my best not to complain excessively, because who wants to hear someone whine about hurting all the time? So this will be it, my one main rant, cry, gripe, woe is me... post where I go in detail about how much I really hurt.

First off, I have been seeing the chiropractor for weeks, I know I get SPD (I'll explain in a min) and I was trying my best to keep everything in line BEFORE it got bad, before the pain got unmanageable.

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction is caused when the body produces too much of the hormone relaxin. Relaxin is what causes the joints in the pelvis to become loose and mobile so a baby can pass through. Most women feel some discomfort in their back and hips due to the pressure of baby and loosened pelvis. I on the other hand, produce extra of this hormone, so much extra that it effects not only my pelvis but my entire body.

Every day is constant pain, I can't sit without pain, I can't lay down without EXTREME pain, My back, knees, hips, shoulders, neck... everything aches, everything is constantly popping and shifting. My chiro can't even believe how hyper-mobile my joints are, I can dislocate joints with minimal pressure ( like I did with Azzie when I fell and dislocated my shoulder). It wasn't even a full fall, I caught myself on the wall and pop... out things go.

Some days are worse than others. Some days it hurts just to try to get out of bed, I wake up all through the night needing to ice or heat or sit on the back massage chair. Those days are awful and full of Tylenol just to make it. Some days when all is "mostly" aligned I am in manageable pain and try to get things done, making sure to rest and be super careful. It just kills me that I have to prep my body just to take my son to preschool then come home and baby my body from the lifting, walking, and driving!

With that said, I think tonight I have reached my breaking point. I cannot bear 7 more weeks of not being able to sleep, at some points barely able to walk, and spending HOURS every. single. day. (and night) icing or sitting on heating pads. The chiro just isn't enough anymore... it's time to seek out physical therapy.

Finances have been tight, we are trying so hard to get out of debt against the mountain of bills that keep racking against us. (Like $3200 out of pocket to give birth by December) So me deciding that $35 a week for a therapist was a very hard decision, but one I pray so hard to God will be worth it.

Trying to keep positive, trying to keep believing the therapist will help and will be able to bind my hips and brace my back so they can feel better.

My main mantra that is seeing me through all of this is, "I will NEVER have to do this again. THANK GOD!"