Monday, June 29, 2015

My Vision of My Perfect 4th Birth

My perfect birth.
As suggested by my midwives, I wrote down my birth story as I would like it to be.  

I will likely have contractions for weeks leading up to my birth and already be about 3-5 cm dilated before true labor even hits from all the prodromal labor. I will feel frustrated, pissy, and tired. I know myself well enough. I will be done being pregnant! I have a feeling labor will start in the afternoon while Scott is at work. I'm making lunch for the kids, irritated that I have been crampy and miserable all morning only to be hit with a hard contraction that has me calling Scott and the midwives to come. They hit hard and fast, but unlike last time I will bear them better, because I know baby will come quickly and smoothly. Plus I have 2 little ones that need me to be calm. "Get them settled and run yourself a bath" I tell myself.

Scott will have sped home and come in to help. I'm thankful it is still above freezing outside and the roads are clear and traffic should be light. I will get in the bath tub and he will put blankets or towels in a bag in the oven and set the kids up with a show while I continue to holler from the bathroom in labor mode. "Scott, get my fan, I need air." Air circulating has always helped me when I am in pain. Feeling like I can breathe well and my body stays cool helps. I get out of the tub and he wraps me in a warm towel as I sit on my hands and knees in front of the fan. I know Amy and Jill are both on their way. They know to come quick. one or two more contractions hit and I feel the need to push. I've only been laboring about an hour but I need to push. Scott grabs the chux pads, gloves, and warm blankets in a rush. He texts Amy/Jill: door's unlocked, we're pushing... Just then, Jill arrives. She was pulling in the driveway when she got the text and is by Scott's side, Baby is almost ready to crown. I feel that intense burning, the pain and I bite down on a towel and do my best to focus on breathing. Next thing I know Amy is there too. All three of them are around me and ready for the next moment...I push just twice and our sweet baby arrives earth side. Amy helps Scott as he catches our baby and Jill applies counter pressure to help keep me from tearing. This birth was so easy! Not as intense, not as scary. The pushing definitely hurt but went fast and wasn't too bad. No tears and minimal swelling! Heck at this point my babies are practically falling out..The placenta comes out soon after, easily and with almost no effort on my end.  

Less than an hour and a half start to finish, all that annoying prodromal labor was worth it. I got a quick and smooth birth and I feel great! Only a cup or so of blood lost, the baby and my vitals are perfect and everyone was there just in time for the best part. We move to the freshly made bed and spend our golden hour together. Scott makes me some toast with peanut butter and banana...wait, dang kids hogged all the banana's... guess we'll go with honey and a warm cup of tea and some Tylenol to help with the after pains. Jill runs me a nice warm Epsom salt bath to clean up and soak my bottom while daddy gets his turn to meet the baby. Amy put on another Mickey Mouse movie for the kids and give them a snack.  All clean and dressed, I come back and Amy weighs the baby. 6 pounds 15 ounces! 19 1/2 inches long. Our smallest baby yet but still very plump, healthy, and perfect. Jill checks my uterus and bleeding again, I'm great and barely sore! It's getting close to supper time and the midwives leave to head home. Scott pops a pre-made Lasagna in the oven and all the kids are on the bed looking at the new baby. We're all in love. A wonderful birth to end my child bearing years with. We look at our baby, Happy to be done, slightly sad that it's our last and excited for the future. Our family is complete. 


Saturday, June 20, 2015

I don' know why I feel like writing but I do. I feel slightly emotional today but about nothing really in particular. My house is a mess and never seems to leave that state. I haven't ate the best the past 2 days, lots of meat, cheese, and carbs, and I am just really tired. Thought I was supposed to get my energy back? I'm in my second trimester! I'm sure all of these things make for a tired more emotional me.

Got back on FB. I hate to admit I missed it. Well not really, but at the same time yes. I've decided that I am going to make the effort to actually see and know the people on my "friends list". The way I see it, if I don't really know them and they don't really know me and we are not comfortable asking to visit one another without an occasion... then why are we friends? I have trouble deleting some people though, friends or not. I want to see what is going on in their lives, many of them live in exciting places or are going through transitions into marriage, parenthood, work life, etc... and curiosity wants to see where life takes them, though I know I am only seeing the highlight reel. I've made lots of plans for the next two weeks, cook-outs, swimming, and playdates. I need more adult time and instead of whining about it I decided why not get off my lazy ass and connect. Sure it sucks to be the one that has to initiate, but I think that in time with my amazingly charming personality, people will start wanting to spend time and make plans with me... ;) Yes, I know, so humble right?

I have to feel good about something in my life. I'll never be a beauty queen but I can do my best to develop a beautiful and contagious personality that people enjoy.

Let's see what else is on my mind. How about I'm not really digging chickens anymore. With out main flock battling sickness and mites and our meat chickens being... well quick growing and sort of lazy, I'm just not feeling the chicken love that I used to. I liked it better having a pretty coop and a small flock I loved as pets versus more of a farming attitude. It's weird how conflicting that feeling is. One minute I love having a nice sized property and the "potential" it offers and on the other hand I crave something a little more intimate and manageable. Like a nice big back yard that offers the space for a garden, chickens, and playing, but that was not so far out of town that I have to travel to everyone and everything. Hard to convince people to come out to the boonies. I also want a little less work. With a fourth child on the way extra yard work, lots of animals, and farm work seems daunting when coupled with my jewelry business and household work (that as I mentioned above never seems to end or even subside some). I sort of look forward to moving to Tennessee. Now that we have a better idea of what works for our family we can make a wise decision on a home. Hopefully a less expensive home... I'd love to see us meet our goal of becoming debt free. We'd be made if we could do that.

Finances are so stressful, so many damn bills and every time we start making a small dent, another bill comes up. Ash breaking his leg, me becoming pregnant, $655 ultrasounds...-_- Glad I at least fought and got them to remove the $397 charge for the STD tests I refused... It seems so overwhelming. I wish we could just sell half our stuff, but it's hard to part with most of it. It always seems like when we sell stuff a year or two later we always have to buy it again because circumstances change... like our queen bed, sure we don't need it now, but we will need it soon enough, or the extra sectional down stairs... IDK, I can't wait for this baby to be born so we can finally purge the dozens of baby boxes down stairs. I will keep a few sentimental things, but other than that I can not wait to be rid of all the baby items. Everything is already so full, closets, shelves, boxes... it's all just too much some days... If anything my goal this week should be a toy and clothes purge for the kids... maybe that would make me feel a little better.

I don't know why I bother trying to clean up our house. Had a friend help me clean ALL day yesterday. Finally got bathrooms all clean and floors fully swept and mopped and kitchen cleaned... I think it stayed that way about 3 hours... oy.

Today I woke up with a headache and exhausted. Food feels/looks/smells disgusting... and I have zero energy. I have felt like I am in a fog the entire day. Not sure if it is just pregnancy or maybe a combination of the fact that it has rained for over a week straight and not expected to stop for another 8 days or so with the exception of a few hours here and there... all we need, more flooding.

Everyone has the stomach flu and I pray when we go to Galion on Monday for a couple days we don't pick it up. Last thing I want is for me or my kids to be violently ill when I am already over nauseous and tired. Today was just one of those blah days, but I wanted to remember to finish this post. Not like anyone reads my blog but it is here for me I guess as an outlet.


Monday, June 15, 2015

Baby Colgan #4 Pregnancy Journal- Week 14

Oh morning sickness, why do you tease me so? Some days I think, I may be past it! I'm in my second trimester! Then you hit me like a ton of bricks when a smelly guy at Kroger passes by and continue to plague me only to disappear and make me think maybe I'm nuts.

Let me tell you about that. There I was at Kroger, feeling fine, then out of nowhere a man caught my attention, or better yet, my nose's attention. He smelled like he smoked 2 packs of stale cigarettes a day and just got done working out without deodorant. I grabbed a veggie bag and fled the scene, trying to keep the contents of my stomach down and find uncontaminated air to breathe. I made it away and thought, if I hurry I should be safe... but no, smokey cut across the store and cut me off at the dairy isle and before I had a chance to run.... blehhhhhhh..... right into the veggie bag. He looked at me with that look of mixed disgust and concern and said "Ew, what's wrong with you are you okay?" No I'm not OKAY! I shoved past him and said, " I'm sorry, I'm pregnant and you stink" and I got out of there as quickly as I could, thankful I only needed a few things... SO AWFUL!

Saw the midwives today, talked to them about a lot of the things on my mind between Aiden running around like a crazy child and my children tearing into things. Told them about my appointment with Dr. S and how the are charging me $397 for STD testing I opted not to do but they did anyway, then tried to claim it was a law and I couldn't get a birth certificate without it... can I call bullshit? Not to mention $655 for an ultrasound, $139 for the technician that did the ultrasound, and $205 for the basic Dr. appt, that didn't include the check up... I am kicking myself in the ass for even going there, I usually like to go to the first appt. to make sure all is well for me to VBAC but I should have just spent $125 and went to Ultrasona at that rate. Geeze.

Let see, what else have I been feeling? Frequent Braxton Hicks, the baby move when I lay down at night (mostly if I am on my belly, Yay for the placenta being in the back!) frequent loose stools, which I think may be from eggs... though I have never been allergic to eggs before, though I read it is common to develop and increase sensitivities to allergens while pregnant. Energy is up some and I am trying to get things in my garden... Still trying to stay positive and not slack too badly on my vitamins, I need to be better about it... I really do. I have been trying to clean up our diet some with less fast food and more home cooking. It's hard when I am so tired though.

Well I guess that is all for now, I'm catching a cold/sore throat and plan to lay down, maybe drink some hot tea.


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Precipitous Labor aka Fast or Rapid Labor, Not as Easy as it Seems

Precipitous Labor aka as Rapid or Fast Labor is a labor that last less than 3 hours from start to finish. Many moms with 6+ hour labors hear that and may pang with jealousy... well how easy is that? Such a short labor... let me tell you, not that easy.

While the labor and birth may be fast, unlike a normal length labor, it is much more intense and hard. I have, so far, had both, a prolonged labor of 28 hours and a precipitous labor of 2 hours 21 minutes. Both were definitely hard in their own ways, but my rapid labor was much harder, and here's why:

 With my longer labor I had the chance to ease into contractions, I felt them build. I had the chance to get excited, call my family and let them know... I was in labor, YAY.

With my longer labor I had breaks, I could feel the contractions come, peak, and subside and I had a short time to rest between them, I could feel my body doing it's job and could take advantage of labor techniques like massages, sitting on the birthing ball and even for a short time, laying down.

My long labor was more tiring from the lack of sleep and the abnormal length which made recovery harder and blood loss heavier. The labor was easy, recovery was hard.

With my rapid birth everything hit hard and fast. There was no build up, no real moment to be excited, "Yay, I'm in labor" The contractions were long and hard and close together with VERY short breaks, Contract 2 min, break 30 seconds, contract 1 min 40 sec break  for 20... it was hard. It felt hard to focus, hard to do anything but rock on my hands and knees in agony at how intense it was. It took all my focus just to breathe and not clench my teeth to the point of breaking.

It was scary wondering, will my midwives arrive in time? Is everything okay? My labor didn't hurt like this before... is the baby okay?

Pushing and delivery was the worst, so much more painful, so intense but it was over quick.
Recovery was a breeze. I felt great after my birth, almost like I barely had a baby. I was up and about the next day,

In comparison, I think 6 -8 hours is a great length of time. Just long enough to not be crazy intense, but just short enough not to take everything out of you. Rapid Labor may be shorter, but it was definitely more painful and emotionally taxing. Makes me nervous about my labor this December, seeing as I will likely have another rapid labor....